1st post

so...this is my first post. in a depressed, i write this 1st post. i got a problem lat night, with someone i love thhe most in this world. not my boyfriend. but my mom. i think this is the most terrible feeling that i have in my whole life. i'm 16 years old. i dont have many experience before. so last night, we, my family, went to have a dinner. the 4 of us. we went to a departement store and then had a dinner. till this time everything went well. laugh, smile, we had it all. but , i think i'm the most creepy girl in this worl, made a mistake.

in that mall, they had a pudding shop. i love that pudding so much. ofc i wanted to buy it. but, with my mom's money. yeah i dont have any income yet. so i bought 1, my sister 1, my day 1, then my mom bought i drink. then, when mom  pay it, i thiught mom didnt really like it. because yeah, its a bit expensuve. so she nag.. me, who saw it, i dont wanna make someone feel burden. reallly. so i try to told mom 'okay i'll change the money later' but maybe my mom didnt hear it. then on the escalator, to come by a supermarket, hear mom who talked a bout sth with dad. i thought, she tlaked abt me, so i told her 'i said, i wanna change the money later' then all of sudden,she hit me. she hit my back. i'm so shocked. then she was angry. yeah i know i was wrong. but she really hated to pay it back then.

even, in the afternoon, we really had a great nap. she hugged me and kissed. and i told her, i dont wanna ever hurt you anymore. but last night, i made her mad to me. oh my God. i think i lost my mind.

till now, this morning, mom dont wanna talk to me. even look atme. even this is the day,i'll have SMTOWN Global audition this afternoon. i'm devastated. dont know what to do. what should i do? if God gives me choices, Live or Die, i'll choose die instead. i feel like i lost my everythin in this world. i think i dont have to leave if the situation like this. i made this. im full of sin. i wanna cry a river. oh God would you forgive me? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ